So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
