You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
