make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
