I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
