didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
