I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
