I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Actions speak louder than pants.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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