I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
