I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
