oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
