she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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