what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
