I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
