At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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