Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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