You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
