I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
