he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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