Got a toothbrush?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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