yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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