I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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