i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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