we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Alive.
So much puke
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
