is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
