I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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