i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i think im in europe. pls send help
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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