I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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