Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
