So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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