She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
