D3 body, D1 cock
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
