Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
