my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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