On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
