he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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