You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
