sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
