So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sponge bath it is.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
