when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
