I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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