Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your dad touched me again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
