lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it glows. i had to have it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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