i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
