Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
