I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I understand Curling. That high.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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