Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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