Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
