he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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