I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
