with your own penis?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
