Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
