you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
